So I had this dream. It was time for Bonnaroo and the Police were playing. Except the stage was set up right where I lived, which was this condo, and the stage went right out of the garage. However they did it, it looked normal.

So they're playing, and I'm hanging out backstage. It's going all right. Then they do "Wrapped Around Your Finger" and Sting starts forgetting the words. He gets real mad and ends the show. This is about 3 songs in. Everybody's going crazy, the band starts packing up and leaving. I catch up with Sting and ask him to come back and play the Gaylord. (That line alone is worth the price of admission, folks.) He seems happy that I didn't yell at him for walking out. Or at least not very mad.

The end.

zing

I spelled "amyloidosis" right on the very first try. Stupid medical shows making me curious about their stupid diagnos...es.

Anyone who rejects a script by Tom Stoppard is an idiot.

Link

random shtuff.

I got called in to an office today to move boxes. Lots of boxes, down and over and onto some pallets. It felt eerily like I was working at Target again. Fortunately, I made more money than that, but not much more.

I'm taking a survey for this thing, and under "ethnicity" they have the standard options...plus "Franco American" (don't they make Spaghetti O's?) and "Arab American". The second one sort of makes sense. I would just like to use this space to make fun of the phrase "Franco American".

Misheard Lyrics Dept. - "Stretch Out And Wait" by the Smiths. I've always heard, "you're a naughty babe, naughty babe, naughty babe". Actual lyrics: "There is no debate, no debate, no debate". Excellent.

Today under "cool new people" on Myspace was...Chris Dodd. I mean, come on. That's like...something. Meanwhile, read about some bad Transformers. And suck it, Chris Dodd! You don't even get a complete analogy. I do, however, give you props (nay, mad props!) for the "waitress sandwich" incident.

Bruce Willis on teh intarweb

I've read through this whole thing because I'm fascinated that Bruce Willis would jump on a message board to interact with his fans and defend the new Die Hard movie.

So far I have learned the following about Mr. Willis:
(all quotes belong to the man himself)

-Real name is Walter Bruce Willison
-Will also answer to "John Mafuckin' Clane"
-Even being Bruce Willis and having producer credit on a movie does not guarantee creative control
-Len Wiseman (bonus for being married to Kate Beckinsale, minus for making the Underworld movies) is, according to Bruce, "the guy who not only brought Die Hard into the 21st Century, but brought it back to Life"
-Die Hard fans (pun intended) DO NOT WANT a PG-13 Die Hard movie
-In the course of discussing PG-13 vs. R ratings, and the fact that a lot of it has to do with swearing, exactly ONE person (in 1000+ posts) made a Mr. Falcon joke
-Bruce didn't like working with Michael Bay; also hates Joel Silver
-The admins posted several times that it was not Bruce Willis before his identity was confirmed
-His iChat name is docwhite@mac.com
-After posting his iChat name on a heavily nerd-infested forum in the middle of the afternoon, it still took 2 hours for someone with a Mac to show up and connect with him
-Encouraged one poster to "cowboy the fuck up"; was actually very courteous and respectful, even in that instance
-Has created a "mythology of Die Hard" which explains the essence of the series
-Is more than happy to fess up and admit which movies of his sucked and which were good
-"[Color of Night] sucked and somewhere, in the cut-out bins of Walmarts, is still sucking"
-[Also regarding "Color of Night"] "When the wang shot appeared in dailies, the Director promised me it would never be in the Film. But during the editing process, the Director got into a fight with the Studio, lawsuit followed, and as a concession, the Director got his directors cut, and he left the wang shot in-for all time. But it is a highly skippable movie"
-Told Robert Rodriguez that he would work with him "anytime, anywhere"
-Recommends watching "Lawrence of Arabia" and then "Venus" to see a great actor "at the beginning of his career being genius, and at the end of his career being genius"
-Regrets making "Sunset" and "Striking Distance"
-Is proud of "Sixth Sense", "Pulp Fiction", "12 Monkeys", and "Mortal Thoughts"
-"Perfect Stranger" was ruined by the producers, and most of the essential parts of the movie were cut out of the final version
-Regrets passing on "Ghost" and "The English Patient" as well as Andy Garcia's part in "Ocean's 11"
-Prefers to limit his late-night talk show appearances to Letterman
-Claims to have been on the Tonight Show once and mistakenly called Jay Leno "Dave" several times
-"accidentally burst out with a Yippe ki Yay Motherfucker on network TV" during a Nets game
-"Chow Yun Fat is the Boss of ass-whoopin'"

Even more goodness over here.

09-F9-11-02-9D-74-E3-5B-D8-41-56-C5-63-56-88-C0

It's all over the rest of the internet, so it might as well be here. Since I don't own an HD-DVD player it sort of feels like showing up after the riots are over just so I can throw a brick through a window. Yeah. Stick it to the man.

Dear Entertainment Industry Suits:

The moral of this story is you can never forcefully stop people from doing what they want to do. Especially using technological means. Nerds and geeks have longstanding issues with authority and are all too happy to circumvent copy protection just because you've put it out there.

Maybe you should try some positive reinforcement instead? You know, something like lower prices, better quality products, or perhaps even going back in time to stop Be Cool from ever being made.

I hope we can reach a mutual understanding whereby you all admit to being terrible buttbags and the people of the world forgive you on the condition that 1) you work with us rather than against us to create and promote entertaining stuff, and 2) we get to punch you in the nuts. Just once, and if we miss, we do not get another chance.

Sincerely,
Me (on behalf of The Entire World)

Hot Fuzz

...was everything I wanted it to be, and more. Highly recommended.