The Mars Volta is the closest anyone has ever come to being the heir apparent to the kingdom of Led Zeppelin. Think about it: sprawling, quasi-progressive rock based around heavy drumming and thick orchestrated guitars. A vocalist with banshee in his blood. Lyrics that may or may not make sense (in fact theirs are quite literate and disgusting at times), but are tied to incredibly catchy melodies.

De-Loused in the Comatorium sounds like the reckless, smack-talking, illegitimate punk grandson of Physical Graffiti. There's rock - there's salsa. Some of it sounds downright stolen from old Santana records. These guys, they think about music in a totally different way. They must.

The new record has five tracks on it and clocks in at one million hours, according to the Mars Volta website.

Well, I got to get going with some stuff here. I hate having to go compose because I have to stop listening to music in order to do it. Oh, for all you Nashville/Belmont peeps, I have a piece being featured on a recital tomorrow. 7:30 in Massey. For anyone reading from Murfreesboro, the same piece will be featured at an intercollegiate recital at MTSU on March 16.

For everyone else, I'll post recordings when I get them.

The lyrics are wrong. None of the sites have them right - I think they're all just using the original Tom T. Hall lyrics. Suffice it to say they're mostly the same, but Whiskeytown makes some significant changes.

Scanning pictures is hard work. But look what I have to show for my efforts. My new web host had a cool photo album script ready to install, so that's what I used. You can even create your own photo galleries! (I know you've been dying to do that!) Under my all-powerful rule, of course. If you have a lot of pictures you want to upload, you can zip them up and e-mail them to me, since I have special admin powers that will let me add them all at once. Space is capped at 25 MB per user, but you can post here or e-mail me if you want more than that.

Don't feel obligated to do this. It's just if you happen to have pictures of the old EG crowd, or pictures of me. Or if you are a cute girl and want to let me know what you look like as a precursor to our first date. That's cool, too. Anything else is pretty much going to get deleted, unless it's really really super funny. Just so you know.

Soon I'll post all the photos we have from our trip to NYC last year. That will be slightly easier since I won't have to do any scanning, but I still have to resize them.

The Chinese restaurants around here really suck. We finally found one with a Mongolian BBQ, but they called it a "Hibachi" and it hi-sucked-i. Then they charged us $15 each for the dinner buffet. You gotta be kidding me!

From: Yours Truly

To: Clark F. Brown Jr., D.D.S., P.A.
2113 Sarno Rd.
Melbourne, FL 32935

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is being included along with payment in full for the charges on my account. I am submitting a payment after multiple requests to my insurance company and to your office to try and resolve these charges in the way they were originally presented to me. I was told at the time of treatment that my out-of-pocket expenses would be minimal, and at that time I paid over $100 for services rendered, which I only agreed to after being reassured by Dr Brown and his staff that I would not be responsible for any additional charges.

Unfortunately, this does not seem to be the case as the insurance company has refused to cover the treatment I received, citing preferred alternative methods. No such alternatives were presented to me at the time of treatment. I sincerely believe it is the doctor’s responsibility to advise the patient of every option available to them, and I feel misled by being advised under false pretenses to pursue a course of treatment that was not covered by my insurance policy.

Of course, this is all water under the bridge now. I have no choice but to pay the charges remaining on my account. I am deeply disappointed with this whole experience, and while I believe that insurance itself is mostly to blame – being the cruelest and most worthless idea man has ever conceived – I cannot help but feel that your office carries a great deal of responsibility in this matter. I can assure you that I will not visit your office again, for fear of accruing even more unnecessary charges. I will also advise everyone I know to stay as far away from your practice as humanly possible.

Please enjoy the enclosed check for my remaining balance of $254.40. May it help to clothe and feed your family and/or sports car.

Sincerely,
Brandon de la Cruz

Hooray for quartet rehearsal! It was nice and low-key today. Kim (friend) wasn't there since she's preparing for her big recital tomorrow. So we sat around, and did some work, and laughed a lot and had a good time. Sherry (friend) and Ben (friend; a.k.a. Beardy McCellist) are always fun to hang around. Plus, I found out Sherry's playing a gig with me this weekend, with an orchestra over in Clarksville. She asked if we could carpool, and then she was all, "I don't want to impose or anything ..." I guess she figured I might have already made plans. But then I told her about the Thai place I found last time I was there, and said if we carpooled she'd have to go there with me, and she was all about it. Sweet!

Things are looking up. Also, I've come round to the idea of using people's names in my blog. (I've included handy labels to denote each person's relation to me.) I didn't do it at first, but some things just don't make sense unless I can refer to the people that are involved. I hope this isn't the first dangerous step towards becoming a super whiny drama blog.

"Did you hear what Tish said the other day? I can't believe it!"

Just kidding, Tish. Thanks for helping me out today. You even picked a hottie to unlock the room for me. That was pretty awesome. You got mad skillz!

When I started up LimeWire today, I got a message saying there was a new version available. I clicked on "upgrade" and was taken to a page where I could get the regular version for free, or the pro version for a one-time payment of $18.88.

I'm not one to settle for anything less than the best, so I did what any sensible, semi-computer-literate person would do - I used LimeWire to find a copy of the new pro version. It's still not as good as the golden days of Audiogalaxy (sigh ... my first p2p love), but it works.

I used the money I saved to buy copies of Heaven and Hell and The Juliet Letters. So it all evens out, right?

I just remembered I have quartet practice first thing in the morning. I'm not even tired. Sheesh.

Some links to chew on:

Korn guitarist finds God, leaves band

Fark discussion

This is great. Some of my favorites quotes from this discussion:

• "From now on I don't want any one saying 'God never did anything for me.'" - Franky17
  
• "I like 'Jesus takes one for the team' better" - Xexi
  
• "Unfortunately, this does not work for Christian rock bands." - Believe_It_Or_Not_I'm_Not_Home
  
• "Maybe he will help reunite Creed." - MyNameIsMofuga

This thread also led me to the PTM website. I'm usually not one for these kinds of sites, but this one seems to be the real deal. Worth a look, anyway.

Sometimes I wonder why the only thing I seem to do with my blog is post links. Then I remember I'm not interested in being whiny. I'm not knocking "confessional"-type blogs. In fact, I love to read them. It beats watching soap operas. Or Oprah.

I'll stop before I offend somebody, but just this once.

I can't believe you people

Seriously. Nobody remembers the Matlock theme song? Because that's what you've been saying to me. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. How could you forget one of the best TV themes ever? Get with the program!

"See ya in church, punk!"

P.S. - You are forgiven if you are family. Or hot. But don't let it happen again.

This is a hilarious thread. I mean it. It's also informative. I learned that Jimmy Carter was once attacked by a rabbit.

On another note, I haven't touched TotalFark since returning from winter break. I just haven't had any time ... oh, who am I kidding? But I guess I have been pretty busy. Anyway, it's nap time.

I have the perfect episode of Matlock 20X6 written in my head. It goes a little something like this:

Matlock starts a weblog. (Or is that web"law"g?) He gets in trouble for complaining about the local district attorney's law-practicing methods or whatever you call them. His frickin' modus operandi. Well, the D.A. files a civil suit for libel. Blah blah blah, fast forward to the opening arguments. The D.A. gets up and hates on Matlock for what seems like forever, making it out to be some kind of crazy injustice that the King of Southern Lawyering cyberspatially called him a "wack-ass prosecutor". Then, it's Matlock's turn.

"Your Honor," he drawls, "it ain't libel if it's true."

"Case dismissed!" shouts the judge. The courtroom erupts in applause. Matlock flashes that big country grin, freeze frame, the awesome theme song plays (it would be a tight jungle version of the original), roll credits.

What a great theme song. It's a perfect musical representation of the "aw, shucks" Matlock attitude. And seeing as Matlock won everything, it's got smugness built right in! "Aw, shucks, Mr Prosecutor - I done whooped you again. See ya in church, punk!" You can even sing that last sentence along to the tag. Isn't that cool? I know you tried it.

Yet another article ruined by a Bob Seger quote

Leave it to the Stones to save the day, though.

No Bob Seger in this one

Somebody should really mention to Rolling Stone that their website sucks. I mean, really. I was thinking about this last night (since I couldn't fall asleep for various and sundry reasons) and I seriously believe I could do wonders for them with a crack web team of, oh, say 3 people. I'm not even talking about all the pop-up ads, because even IE blocks those now. The layout, the fonts, the features, the general crappiness ... terrible. Oh well. I'll just use my ideas for SDR instead.

It's been such a depressing weekend. Rainy, cold, and mostly boring. We built a bookshelf yesterday, and despite a reward of delicious chocolate cake, it was a hollow victory. So I cleaned some, and composed some, and generally just felt crappy. Ben Folds isn't helping. Neither is this article. This one is pretty funny, though:

Years ago, Mick Jagger received a seven-figure advance to write his memoirs. He eventually returned the money, saying he couldn’t remember anything of significance.

Various HST links:

• Fark discussion
  
• Final ESPN column
  
• ESPN archives
  
• Some random fan site

I used to think that my perfect desert island record was something high and mighty like Mahler's 2nd or Pet Sounds. Now, just this track would do.

Sharp darts spitting masters
Spitting darts faster
Shut up I’m the driver, you’re the passenger
I’ll reign superior
The pressure blows the dial on your barometer
Do you understand, or do you need an interpreter?

Now my style is distinguished
All fires are extinguished
Ask your girl to sing and she’ll sing this
I’m a scientist
Have no prejudice, that’s my hypothesis
Make your analysis; ever heard a beat like this?
I walk the beat like a policemen
No karma pedestrian
In 500 years they’ll play this song in museums
I’m the bold adventurer
The UK’s ambassador
Holding up Excalibur
Your beats are inferior
Don’t wanna embarrass ya
So call your solicitor
The jury voted unanimously against ya!

And so on.

Here's some brief updates, since I guess some people might actually expect to read news here. The opera is coming along nicely. It will be done this term. There was going to be a huge project for the record label - a new division, actually - but Sharkdog Films is on hold for now. It's for the best, since so many other things are going on. The current focus for SDR is to get a webstore up and running in anticipation of new records by Stateside Menace and One of Them. Our crack team of programmers and spider monkeys is working round the clock to bring this to you, our loyal fanbase.

Well, it's been a while since I've heard the end of Mahler's 2nd, so I'm off to listen to that before bed.

I've played with the template some more and now there's a little "#" sign at the bottom of all the posts, which will let you access the permanent link for that post. You know, in case you ever want to e-mail a post to someone, for who knows what reason.

It's been a good week. I'm still trying to work on the Sharkdog Records webstore. First, I have to find a suitable host, and get the website transferred over. Then, I have to figure out what kind of merchandise to put up, and how to get it to people when they order it. I really want to put up streaming audio/video and offer mp3's for sale. Maybe offer T-shirts and CD's too. I dunno.

Well, I gotta cut this short because of the incredible amount of stuff I have to do today. Which is not really all that much, but I don't have a lot of time. So go check out the Jurassic 5 website, chill to some great tunes, and I'll catch you later.

The above song was what Paul Simonon was asked to sing when he auditioned for the Clash. He wasn't familiar with it, but fortune smiled upon him as the main lyric involves chanting "radio on" and there's only two chords in the whole thing (I-IV, and a couple of very brief V chords). Go listen to a clip on Amazon and you'll get the idea.

I'm going nuts. I keep thinking there are things I'm forgetting to do, and most of the time I'm right. I have no idea how I'm going to finish all this stuff:

-an opera
-a song cycle
-a new record
-recital paper and other junk

I have to finish the opera by May. The song cycle has to be done by September, and the recital junk has to be pretty much done by December so I can schedule it for spring 2006 without any problems. The record doesn't have a deadline but I want to start it as soon as possible, before it loses all momentum.

It may not sound like much, but I also have classwork, playing commitments (string quartet, orchestra) and various other stuff. So I'm a busy dude.

C. Diddy tipped me off about free online tax filing. It was mostly painless. Give it a shot, if you're so inclined.

Tonight I watched "Dr Strangelove". I learned many things, few of which have anything to do with the movie, which was incredibly confusing and creepy to boot. But I liked it - I was in good company. Also, the Fallout games rip this movie off to no end.

Good news - I'm all cleared for the London trip. The extra loans came through. I have enough money to live and eat decently until September. That is so frigging sweet. Plus, I'm starting to get gigs again, so in the timeless words of Walter Sobchak, "Our troubles are over, Dude!"

I'm so tired all of a sudden. I wonder where all my time goes. It's not being wasted on video games anymore, that's for sure. (Despite my previous post, I've only been able to play the System Shock games for a combined total of about an hour.)

Over and out.

P.S. - Hefeweizen is delicious. Smooth, golden, and cloudy. Mmmmm.

What happens when Dr James Dobson tries to mess with SpongeBob? I heard about this, so I did some research to find out what happened. Sure enough, I found some interesting things (appropriate colon! Ok, I won't label them anymore):

The initial CNN report on Dobson's remarks

As we will later see, this article is entirely accurate. (I guess there's no way to know if it has been revised.) Basic "family values" controversy as someone (Nile Rodgers, no less!) has put together a video featuring various characters singing "We Are Family". The video is part of a program set up after 9/11 to promote tolerance and diversity. It doesn't get any more inoffensive and sterilized than this, folks. And yet our fearless ecumenical leaders have managed to create a controversy around it.

A rebuttal from the Dobson camp

I could barely read through this. Wincing, frequent breaks, and 3 shots of whiskey helped.

MSNBC post

This is actually where I first read about the issue. I had to work backwards from here to dig up the other articles. This one is interesting - I guess they did some coverage on MSNBC that Dr Dobson took particular offense to.

Finally:

Tolerating James Dobson

This one has the added bonus of reader comments, which range from the uninspired to the truly deranged.

Hooray for current events and political blog crap!

I love messing around with computers and coding and stuff. I just found a cool way to integrate comments onto my main page. Check it out. I dare you. C'mon, click "comments". Nobody will ever know. The only downside to this is once you post a comment, it takes you back to the original post on its own page. To get back to the main page, click the giant "Sharkblog" at the top. Or just open "Post a Comment" in a new window and refresh the main page when you're done.

Meanwhile, I've been spending a considerable amount of time trying to get old DOS games to run on my computer. I've learned a lot about the subject. DOSBox works okay, but VDMS is way better.

The result of all this is a lot of time spent playing System Shock and System Shock 2. If you think Half-Life and Doom are scary ... forget about it. These games are way more puzzle-oriented, feature much creepier plots, and are generally super awesome. They were made by the same guys that do the Thief and Deus Ex games, if that means anything to you.

In other news, I've thought about observing Lent this year. It's all part of my ongoing series entitled, "What The Heck Is Going On? A Guide To Life." You too can reap the benefits of my wisdom for only $19.95! Rush shipping available - click below to order!

Windows Media Player is so gimped. Every time I play a CD, I have to manually click through to display the track list. How stupid is that? So I went on a search for a better media player. What I found might shock you.

Quintessential Player 4.5

This thing is awesome! It's even taken the place of my beloved Sonique. I guess I finally came to terms with the fact that Sonique 2.0 is never going to be released - at least, not in my lifetime.

Anyway, QP has got some really cool stuff built in. It can play mp3's, video, and CD's with support for autoplay as well. It looks good and has a ton of skins, but I don't bother with that crap. CDDB integration means the info for CD tracks (and some mp3 files) will be automatically downloaded to the player. Full IDE editing means you can correct (in real time while the track is playing!) all those annoying errors people make when naming mp3 files.

The only thing I don't like so far is that double-clicking a file will delete your existing playlist instead of just appending it. There's an option to change this, but it won't allow you to append AND play when double-clicking.

I hate to cut this short, but it's time to go work on some opera. Or listen to some Pedro the Lion. Or perhaps both.

I stole this idea from someone else's blog and I am going to blatantly use it without credit. I encourage you to do the same.

Load all your songs into your music program of choice (WinAmp, iTunes, etc.) and then shuffle them up real good. For the first 10 songs, write down your favorite line from the lyrics and see if your friends can guess the songs. (Web stalkers, you're invited too!) If your music collection is still mainly CD's or 8-tracks, just devise a way to select 10 songs at random.

Wow ... luck of the draw. I got some great songs. (Just for the record, I threw out two of them. One was an instrumental, and I didn't even really like the other one. So you should all listen to "Egyptian Reggae" by Jonathan Richman, and apologies to the Cure, but I don't know why I have "More Than This" in my playlist.)

Here goes (note the entirely appropriate use of a colon here):

1. Everybody's feelin' it bad
   No new breaks, whatever it takes
   Not to have to sway it on a classified ad
   
   
2. I told her that I agreed
   But I didn't like it as a band name
   
   
3. I wish that we were stumbling fast
   Down on Irving and 14th Street
   
   
4. I'm going blind again
   And I haven't seen my girl
   In 15,000 miles
   
   
5. Thanks in part to Mother Nature
   It will never rain again
   It should do wonders for the GNP
   
   
6. Hide on the promenade, etch a postcard
   "How I Dearly Wish I Was Not Here"
   
   
7. One more sun comes sliding down the sky
   One more shadow leans against the wall
   
   
8. She gets mad, and she starts to cry
   She takes a swing, but she can't hit
   
   
9. You kicked and cried like a bullied child
   A grown man of twenty-five
   Oh, he said he’d cure your ills
   But he didn’t and he never will
   
   
10. I can feel the pressure building high.
    You should see you’re headed for a storm.
    Don’t you see it building in the sky?
    Don’t you think it’s time to swim to shore?
    

Here are some hints - all 10 songs are by different artists (no repeats), and they have all received some kind of national press, so you have a good chance of recognizing them. All the artists began their careers after 1980.

Post your answers in the comments and I'll grade them. You get 2 points for each correct answer - 1 per artist and song title. To use a modified version of Justin's theory, if you get them all completely wrong in a really funny way, I will award you full credit.

Remember, kids - we're on the honor system here. Google is cheating!